Confessions Of A Bad Mom

   Norah is my second daughter, and my mini-me.  She has her own blog, like me, and her own you tube channel, like me.  She goes through phases of interest, like me, and dives head first into research, like me.  

   Last night she was kind of stressed out, and told me, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I was doing research for one of my dan and phil projects and I accidentally saw porn."

To which I replied, "Okay... was it guy on guy porn?"

And she said, "No, guy and girl..."

So I was like, "Okay, well do you wanna talk about it?"
   
And she said, "No, but can you put parental controls on my computer or something?"

"Oh, sure.  So, no questions about what you saw?"

"Nope.  I know about it, I just don't need to see it."

   
So I took her computer from her and adjusted the settings.
   
"There ya go," I said, handing it back.  "But for the record I'm against censorship."

She smiled and asked, "So, can I swear in one of my videos?"


And then I explained that swear words, like any words, are a literary tool that she should learn how to use, and use well. 

"So the answer is yes, but only if it makes what you're saying more funny."

Napoleon Hill Makes A Great Point, But

Napoleon Hill told me all I need to do is complete these three steps:

1. What do you want?  (a humanist/environmentalist world)

2. What are you willing to give in order to get it? (whatever I have)

3. Get out there and start giving. (like I've been doing)

Fuck yeah.  

So what do I have to give?

-Musical/various artistic abilities  
-Wisdom (People won't ask for advice, so I just give it)
-Too many fucks, apparently.  I care about everything.  I see the big picture, and everything is part of it, so




Giving is good.  But I think we should also be asking:

What are you willing to give up?

Because we're going to have to give up plastic to save the planet.  Plastic is bad, mkay....

No Sex For Seven Days

I had to see the ob-gyn this week to get a new Mirena put in, since the old one was about to expire.

If you don't already know, Mirena is an IUD.  It's like a fake baby in your uterus, that tricks your body into thinking its already pregnant.  That's how I explained it to my kids, anyway.

My doctor had to explain the procedure of taking out the old one, cleaning and measuring the uterus, and placement of the new IUD, and all the things that could go wrong before, during and after.... like the risk of being punctured by the thing as she's putting it in!  OFFS!

"But don't worry," she said.  "Before we do any of that, I'll do a pelvic exam..."  

That's the part where they put one hand up inside you, and the other hand is outside you, so they can feel your uterus and ovaries as accurately as possible.

"... so I can gauge the true size of your uterus to minimize the risk of puncture.  And you're thin, which makes it so much easier..."

I'm thin?

you mean, I'm thin?!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH" (angels singing)

As with any new birth control, it needs time to settle in and start working.  So, no sex for seven days!  And you know what that means...

I'm making cabbage soup!  Totally gonna rock out on vegetables this week.  Seriously.  Visit at your own risk.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Imaginary Friends

I have maybe 10-15 imaginary friends.  Some are around more than others.

1. Jane Austen.  
I actually became Jane Austen while reading her works.  I adopted her manner of speech, and her English accent, in my own writing.  Quite by accident!  Reading begets imagination and fantasy, all while you are inside someone else's head!  How can you NOT be imaginary friends at that point? 

2. Sarah Silverman.  
She is always teasing me about being in love with Bill Maher.  She's all like "Bill and Lil up in a tree...."

3. Bill Maher.  
I never would've sorted out my Planet Venis idea if it hadn't been for him.  His feedback helped me make a bad idea, well,  a little less bad.  He's gotten less funny with age, but still, I like having someone smart to bounce ideas around with.  

4. The Wise Sloth.  
I got sucked into his blogosphere maybe a couple years ago, and we've been imaginary friends ever since.  He has helped me understand the military and christianity, among other things.  He even helped me with one of my videos.  

I actually asked The Wise Sloth for an interview in real life, since the imaginary one went so well.  I didn't tell him there was an imaginary interview already, though.  Which is probably why he said yes.

Bill Maher got a little jealous when I told him about it, and it was adorable.  He was all like "oh so you're all in love with the wise sloth now?"  And I was all like, "yeah except he's a sloth, lucky for you."

Avascular Necrosis and PRC

post-op

Avascular necrosis means death from lack of blood supply.  So a couple of my wrist bones somehow lost their blood supply, died and withered, which caused me pain and limited movement.  There was no event, no car accident, no fist fight, no I didn't punch a wall.  If I were angry enough to throw a punch, it would be a left hook.  And that's only happened, like, maybe twice.  

I just thought it was arthritis.  I ignored it for a long time until I couldn't take the pain anymore.  I went to the doctor because I wanted to play guitar again.

my scar today

I was surprised to find out that I needed surgery.  They removed the 3 offending bones from my wrist in a procedure called Proximal Row Carpectomy.  

weird bump

deformed thumb joint

They say it takes up to 1.5 years to recover from this, so that means November 2016.  We shall see.  I had 6 weeks of physical therapy, which amounted to massage and stretching and was excruciating.  My wrist does not bend back AT ALL.  I can't do my girly push ups anymore, for example, cuz I can't bend or bear weight on that wrist.  Or open a jar.

I haven't tried to play piano or drums yet.  I have played the guitar a little, just enough to figure out the chords to "exes and ohs" by Elle King.  I hope someday I can strap on and rock out.  (with my cock out, of course).   At the very least, I hope someday it stops hurting all the time.  Amen.

Decoding The Mysteries Of Myself

I took this free strengths test, and got a detailed report for free.  What did I get out of it?  Well, it was accurate.  My main results were 

1. potential cultivator (cultivator of potential)
2. integrator
3. thinker
4. student
5. presenter


Afterward, they offered me a free personality test, which I took.  Then they gave me a peek of the results, 

MBTI: INTP
rational-architect
main quality: problem solving

and offered me the detailed report for $3.95.  Which I bought, and I'm glad I did.  It was so accurate I actually cried.

The take away was that they've classified people into 4 basic personality types- artisan, guardian, rational, idealist.  Each of those 4 has a subset.

So within the personality type "rational", for example, there are 4 subtypes- field marshal, mastermind, inventor, architect.

Rationals are sparse, an estimated 5-10% of the population, and architects are as rare as maybe 1% of the population.

No wonder I feel so alone!  

It's kind of a relief to know that, odds are, no one will ever understand me.  That being said, maybe now I can figure out how to write jokes that work.

Brutal Honesty

Why is it so hard to be honest about what I want?  Communication is pointless without honesty, and if it's too hard for me to say, then I'm gonna have to write it down.  And if I want something specific from my partner, I gotta figure out a way to tell him.  Lucky for him, I'm quite simple.

All I ask, is that my partner is nice to me.  Don't insult me.  Don't try to make me feel bad for things I don't feel bad about.  Don't leave passive-aggressive messes around the house for me to clean up.  Clean your own shit out of the toilet.  Clean up after yourself.  Do your own laundry.  Buy and make your own food if you don't like what I make, I am not a restaurant.

Respect my schedule.  For 2 weeks out of the month I will be very horny and I will need attention.  I will do anything you ask of me- except anal- as long as I get my oral-fuck-oral-fuck thing that I like before you finish.  

The other 2 weeks of the month, I barely even think about sex, so you have to tell me when you need it.  You can bend me over pretty much anytime to meet your daily needs, as long as you leave me alone for the other 23 1/2 hours of the day, because those 2 weeks are for cleaning the house, socializing and my creative endeavors.  Of course if I had a partner who liked socializing or helping me with my projects, the "leave me alone" rule would scarcely apply.

Ideally, my partner would actually like me, respect me, know who I am and understand where I'm going.  I should be with someone who enjoys weed and wine and can take a joke.  Someone with as much confidence and capability as I have.  Someone who sees the big picture, someone at least as worldly as I am.  Someone who has been homeless like me, someone who has seen the worst of people, like me.  Someone who understands the real world because they've lived in it.  Someone with a depression-era attitude like me, someone who isn't a spoiled little bitch who thinks repairs are beneath them and needs everything to be brand new all the time.  That is so wasteful and selfish!  Life is too short for this bullshit!

I'm Dreaming Of A Green Future by Ling Carsby

I want to make the world a better place, sure, but I haven't come up with any practical solutions.  I have been reading a ton of other people's ideas, though.

1. the venus project 
suggestions for a resourced-based economy, house designs for energy efficiency

I read and watched everything on this.  Cool guy, cool ideas.

2. the zeitgeist movement
same thing

I watched the movies too, and I thought they were half inspiring and truthful, half over-the-top impractical.  Not that there's anything wrong with the ideas though.

3. the wise sloth
eco-cities, floating islands, communal living ideas

This guy wants to build an intellectual monastery, an idea that I love so much I wanna get tweaky with it.  And I'm pretty good at tweaking, so.

4. earth ships
self contained, off the grid housing designs

holy fuck, an earth ship on a floating island- first choice if I didn't have kids.  Maybe when we grow up.

I think maybe combining the earth ship idea with the monastery idea would be easier to sell people on.  It would be like an intellectual trailer park rather than an intellectual hotel.  This is way less eco, I realize.  And more work in the winter, too.  But some people can't share space, so.  I'd buy tiny houses for each of my kids if I could.

I could sell my place, buy some land and have one earth ship built.  But honestly, if I could lobby enough like-minded green future sailors, we could all pitch in and raise enough money to build an earth ship intellectual monastery.  We just can't call it that, we'll call it something else, something that doesn't scare people into thinking they have to shave their heads.  People hear connotations instead of words.  So we'll have to call it the Pot Farm or something, to attract the right kind of people ;)

"may your days be airy and clean, and may all your futures be green"- Ling Carsby

Your Behavior Speaks A Thousand Words

Whatever it is that you are- for better or for worse- is more obvious than you realize!  Everything you say and do can be traced back to your core beliefs, revealing them to the world, whether you like it or not.  

For example:

I pulled hair out of the shower drain, while I was showering, and left it on the edge of the tub.  I was gonna throw it in the trash but I forgot.  My roommate complained "I hate it when you do that it is so fucking disgusting it grosses me out".  While a wet and slimy clump of hair on the edge of the tub does look gross, I have seen- and touched- much worse.  So while this asshole is complaining, his scope is showing.  Meaning, the scope of his experience.  By comparison, a doctor wouldn't bitch about something like this because a doctor has seen much, much worse gross.  Like a parent.  Or anyone who isn't a spoiled little bitch.  Of course, a better person would've ignored it, joked about it, or just thrown it out.

Ya know those people who try to make other people look and feel stupid?  They are revealing their own insecurity about their own intelligence.  

Ya know those people who talk nice to you but insult you at the same time?  They're jealous of you.

Ya know those people who speak one philosophy but live another?  They're seriously pissing me off.

Patience waning, snap waxing.  Clock ticking...

Why 50 Shades Is Appealing To Women

*Update: because I finally watched the fucking movie.  


They have "first time" sex once, then all he wants to do is tie her up, go down on her and then fuck her.  She doesn't ever blow him, he won't even let her touch him.

Wait, so you wanna tie me up and I'll just lay here while you do all the work?  Can I get that in writing?  

No wonder 50 Shades is appealing to women!

Only scroll down if you need instructions on decoding women using their menstrual cycle, or if you enjoy my drunken TMI rants.


old blog:
I haven't read or seen 50 Shades of Black&Blue-I mean-Grey.  Only the trailer and a youtube video called "everything wrong" with it.  It seems the gist of it is that the guy is Dominant and the girl is Submissive.  

A popular opinion is that women secretly want to be controlled and the popularity of this movie proves it.  Women fear that this opinion translates to a justification of rape, because they don't want to be raped.  Controlled is up for discussion.  See the difference?  Please see the difference.

Gay people talk about tops and bottoms all the time, but most straight people don't.  I realized in my 30's that I am a bottom, and I wish I had been able to articulate that at a much younger age.  Take away: know yourself, articulate, cut your losses, get what you need, before it's too late.

I think the appeal of 50 shades is the written contract, to be honest.  And the kink... being served up in a seemingly caring and protective hostage-like situation.  Intriguing...

Now I need to articulate something else that will help males interact with females, and females interact with themselves.

Women are on a menstrual cycle.  So, when she's on her period, that's week one.  Shark Week.  That's the calm after the storm. 

Week 2, she's got more energy and is probably a bit horny.

Week 3, even more energy and wicked fucking horny.

Week 4, PMS, very emotional, crying for seemingly no reason- leave her alone all week (this week for me, FYI)

That's it.  That's the key to every menstruating female in the world.  Please follow it exactly god dammit!

I'm Disabled And You're Jealous?

Our economy is SO bad....    (how bad is it?)

It's SO bad that people are jealous of me for becoming disabled.  They say I'm lucky.  Because now I don't have to work.  I get to stay home.

Lucky for you, I'm too disabled to kick your ass.

Lucky for me, I can show you how stupid you are with words.

It occurs to me that the average person works 2 or 3 jobs and still struggles to make ends meet.  I get that, I understand why you think I have it made.  I also understand that you don't eat well, don't sleep enough and therefore you can't think straight.

Wanna be disabled?  Let me explain how awesome it really is.

First, PAIN.  DOCTORS.  PAIN.  SURGERY.  MORE PAIN.  MORE DOCTORS.  MESSY HOUSE.  SCARED CHILDREN.  NO MONEY.  NO FREEDOM.  NO ENERGY.  NO HOPE.  AND NOBODY BELIEVES YOU.

Next, PAIN, COUNSELORS, PAIN, SOCIAL WORKERS, LAWYERS, JUDGES WHO DON'T THINK YOUR DOCTORS ARE GOOD ENOUGH, SENDS YOU TO ONE OF THEIR CHOOSING, SO MORE DOCTORS, MORE PAIN, MORE PROOF, AND STILL NOBODY BELIEVES YOU.

Then, ANOTHER SURGERY, MORE PAIN, SCARED CHILDREN, MESSY HOUSE, MORE SERVICES REQUIRING MORE PROOF AND MORE DIFFERENT DOCTORS, LAWYERS, COURT, JUDGES WHO DON'T BELIEVE YOU

When I finally proved that I'm really, truly, honest to god disabled by 5 different doctors,

Then, THE JUDGE SEEKS VOCATIONAL REHABILITATION SPECIALIST CONSULT,  JUST TO MAKE EXTRA GODDAMNED SURE THERE ISN'T A JOB, SOMEWHERE, THAT I COULD DO, SOMEHOW, DAMMIT THERE MUST BE SOMETHING SHE CAN DO REGARDLESS OF HER CONSTANT PAIN AND TERMINALLY BROKEN BODY....

But of course, the voc rehab guy was like "nope, she is really too disabled to employ and we could not expect any employer to accommodate a disability such as hers"

NO SHIT!  THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

Next, THE JUDGE GETS TO NEGOTIATE MY DATE OF INJURY IN ORDER TO SHORTEN THE LENGTH OF MY DISABILITY AND GIVE ME LESS MONEY.  Because that's the American way.

But in the end, I jumped through all the hoops and was awarded with SSDI.  I was reviewed the following year, and will be reviewed every 12-18 months.  So I will be jumping through hoops for the rest of my life, until I get rich and famous, or until we lose the program altogether.

The amount I get was determined by my work history.  So if you worked hard your whole life and become disabled, your ssdi payment will be the average of what you earned in your lifetime.  So, I'm lucky that I became disabled after working my ass off for 20 years at good jobs that paid well.

And everyone is jealous, because they get to go out into the world, choose what jobs to take or not to take, negotiate salaries, ask for raises, decide which co-workers to date or not date,  set up a 401K and bring it with you to your next job, or maybe quit your job and go back to school or move to another state or another country.

My only hope is to try to build some sort of career for myself online, because I refuse to accept the notion of NOT being rich and famous someday!  I can still write, dammit!
 :(

When Mom's Not Happy, Nobody's Happy

When I'm happy, my kids are happy.  And I'm not happy.

I'm an average American mom, so my number one priority is to make it seem like my kids are happy, skinny geniuses.  But the economy is so bad that I can no longer afford to bribe them.

It's also important to seem like I'm sober, so I need to look hot, dress with style and keep the house sparkling clean.  Easy.  I just don't fucking bother.

My kids tell me I'm way funnier when I'm happy, so wtf is the problem?  I tell them, being a mother gets in the way of being my natural self, which by now could have been a rich and famous person.  I also tell them it's not their fault, it's mine, and they're like, duh, we know.  Of course they know that, they are geniuses.

They even do half-assed chores sometimes, just to show they care.

Get Stoned And Do Something: Unreal Roses

Planet Penus

Kiss & Tell

Brie Stuffed French Toast Recipe

Autobiographical Analogies

Planet Venis Misspelled In Public! Real Womanhood Exposed!

Play Time With Bill & Lil

My Bill Night-Maher!

Hence the "no difference" limerick:

99% To The 1%: Why Don't You Just Bribe Us?

Rich people, it's time we make a deal.

You've managed to buy the elections and the lawmaking process.  You affected the changes that allowed you to become the 1% over the last 30 years.  

And as long as there was a happy, middle-class general population, nobody cared.  

But you fucked up.  You done took too much, and now the middle class is too far below the poverty line to be called "middle".  We see what you did there, and we're sick of it!

You guys are fucking old and your days are numbered.  

When the change comes, you guys are gonna have to start paying taxes.  And all your loopholes will be closed, and the government won't belong to you anymore. 

In the meantime, you want things to stay the same?  Easy.
BRIBE US WITH GOOD LIFE AND WE LEAVE YOU ALONE.  Duh.

Humorism vs. Comedy

One of these days I will figure it out.  I will crack you guys up and you won't even see it coming cuz I won't even be kidding.  In the meantime, I appreciate the small amount of attention and loyalty that I'm currently getting, even if you're laughing at me the wrong way.  Cheers <3

I Like Knowing Stuff

In The Background

Confessions of a Know-It-All

Growing up, I was always around people who didn't care about politics, causes or changing the world.  Didn't care, didn't know, didn't want to know.  Which I had always thought to be an issue of class.  If you're struggling to get food and heat, who cares what's going on in the world, right?  Makes sense when you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs ladder- you sort out your physical needs first before social needs.  

Then in my 20's, I realized it's an issue of gender.  Specifically, women don't care about politics.  Most women let their husbands deal with anything of the outside world, because they have their hands full with the inside world of kids and chores and work and shopping and husbands.

(Um, aren't you a poor, busy mom writing about caring about politics right now?  wtf?)

Yes, I was wrong.  Clearly women and poor people are perfectly capable of understanding the hooza-whatcha-call-it world thingy.

Lately I've been reading about ancient Rome, specifically the republic before the empire, the senate and voting and plebeians, nobles, aristocrats, patricians and all this shit looking for parallels to today. 

And I found the satires of Juvenal, who is basically a comedian and a historian at the same time.  He observed that the campaign and election process had become meaningless and ineffective, since the voters were bribed with free grain and parties and shit and that's how the votes were "won".  They were bought.

From Wikipedia: 

Juvenal is the source of many well-known maxims, including: 

• that the common people—rather than caring about their freedom—are only interested in “bread and circuses” (panem et circenses 10.81; i.e. food and entertainment)

So, the person with the most resources would win the election, not the person with the most qualifications.  In the Roman Republic.  In like, the year 90 or 100.  Hm, that sounds familiar!

In conclusion, the way to a plebeian's heart is through their stomach, politics neglect actual governance, and I'm definitely the reincarnation of Julius Caesar. 

Literally, Some Thoughts On Page To Screen Changes

I'm a HUGE fan of Game of Thrones, and the book series behind it.  Some parts of the book were written in such a way that would leave room for interpretation, but when it came time to adapt it for the show, the "room for interpretation" went away and the audience was shown everything.

This happened to me recently.  I wrote the labor day Sucky episode in prose first.  At the end, when Bale said he was thinking about public execution, I couldn't decide:

is he innocently stuck on public execution?
or is he mad at her for going off and making that remark about her?

But in prose you don't need to decide.  You can leave it to the reader.

When I made the video, I included a picture of a vampire being staked through the heart, to make it clear that "thinking about public execution" really meant "wishing I could fucking kill you right now".

Oh, Bale.  You stupid dick.

Confessions Of A Red Wine Snob

Sucky The Vampire: Labor Day

Sucky is a thousand year old vampire, who lives discreetly among humans in the American south.

She and her boyfriend, Bale, are sitting by the campfire at a party on the lake, where some friends are spending Labor Day weekend.  As usual, Bale has insisted that they try to have some fun, and as usual, Sucky cannot oblige.

"Oh for fuck's sake Sucky" Bill says impatiently.  "What is it this time?"

Sucky responds with disgust.  "The stench of burning meat, for one.  Excuse me for having memories triggered by smell.... I mean, you haven't experienced public "people burning" like I have, so... believe me, this is what it smells like... ...and nobody even gets Labor Day!  I mean, President Cleveland fucked over a railroad union, then he "apologized" by making you take a day off from work, but doesn't require it to be a paid holiday?  Isn't that kind of a kick in the balls?  Labor Day is supposed to be for supporting unions and celebrating strength in numbers... of course, if that were common knowledge then Labor Day would probably be repealed by Republicans, cuz, ya know, they don't want unions running around, protecting people's rights..."

"Well shit" says Bale, his eyes glazed over.  "While you were bitchin' about politics, I was thinkin' about public execution."

One of these days, Sucky thinks to herself, I am gonna Kill Bale...


*Parody of True Blood and reference to Kill Bill, for props

Sucky The Vampire: Independence Day

 Sucky is a thousand year old vampire, who lives discreetly among humans in the American south.

She and her boyfriend, Bale, are at the Independence Day fireworks display.  As usual, Bale has insisted that they try to have some fun, and as usual, Sucky cannot oblige.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sucky" Bale says impatiently.  "What is it this time?"

Sucky responds with disgust.  "This is stupid.  Fireworks that commemorate war by replicating the sounds of it... I mean, do we really need more explosions in the world?  I know I've seen enough to last a hundred lifetimes... This really takes me back, by the way.  I'm getting PTSD all over again."

"Well shit" says Bale.  "If PTSD is anything like PMS, we better get the fuck outta here before you get it!"

One of these days, Sucky thinks to herself, I am gonna kill Bale...


*Parody of True Blood and reference to Kill Bill, for props

Old School Office Sexism Boomerang

An old school man would say "women let their feelings cloud their judgement"... while he pats your bottom and snaps your bra at work on a daily basis.  Well, 
Horny is a feeling!

So put your dick feelings away, they're clouding your judgement.  Boomerang!


(hey, Lil, Walt Disney called and asked how many decades have you been sitting on that joke?)

(and then 1985 called and offered you a job writing sitcoms)

(and then 1998 or 2002 called and asked for its so-and-so-called-and-wants-their-shit-back joke)

A Logical Look At Life After Death

In death, we assume we will find relief from physical pain and mental/emotional conflict.  That's why we have words like suicide and euthanasia. 

Everyone seems to agree that:
1. Death brings Peace. 
2. Peace is the opposite of Conflict.

There are only 2 ways it can go if you think it's gonna be peaceful:

1.  you could cease to exist at all
2.  you could go on to some other type of existence where you know everything

Most people like the idea that everyone who has died is at some sort of eternal family reunion, and will be there to greet us when we arrive.  

Ok, well, let's pretend that is true for a minute, and apply the peace logic... 

How would we experience peace on the other side?  Without a body, the experience would be mental, and also would have to be instinctual in order to perpetuate our species.  Which indicates genetic memory/collective knowledge becoming conscious knowledge and you would know everything there is to know when you cross over. 
"oh, it works like this"
 "so this is how I fit in"
"so this is what I must do next" 
No conflict to be had there which is peace.  
Which takes away your options.  And your free will.  You would have to take your place in nature's larger mechanism, as a gear in the wheel of some cycle that is perpetuated by a quest for evolution of the species, which is more important than who you were when you were alive that one time.  You would have to have no ego at all, basically you'd have to give it up to perpetuate the species and reincarnate or otherwise add to the evolution.  Which sucks because I always wanted to be a ghost.  But I wanna be a ghost that is me!  My dreams have been shattered!  By me!
I shattered my own dreams!

Well, maybe some of us are fucking special and we get to be ghosts?

The Psychology Of Old Brainwash

My boyfriend pretty much hides me from his family and friends.  I am not allowed to be friends with his sisters, in fact he wouldn't even give them a copy of my zine.  He said they "wouldn't be interested in that.  At All."  Maybe they really wouldn't be interested, but isn't that up to them to decide?

I let it go, because, there's no point in arguing.  So I'm venting here: (Is he ashamed of me?  His family and friends are cool people, so I don't know wtf he's so worried about...  I'm not that bad!  If I am then why is he with me?)

End Vent.  Begin Rationalization:  This is just "old brainwash" so I'm not going to take it personally.  Old brain patterns can take over when it comes to family.  You become a kid in your mom's house again and play the part of the good child.

However, it is possible to be the adult that you really are around your family, and most likely, they will adapt to you, as they have always done your whole life.  You should just express your opinions and your feelings in conversations with them, and have the maturity to understand and accept theirs.  Like any other friendships in life, create a two way street that you both will learn how to navigate over time.  Duh.

The Purpose Of Planet Venis

Planet Venis, LLC
PO BOX 3181
Portland, ME 04104
planetvenis.com
lilmcgill@planetvenis.com

All this exists, and more.  But what's the point of this?

If you build it they will come and be your customers
 vs. 
If you build it they will tell you to fuck off and leave you alone forever

On one hand, I've been doing the witchy stuff (astrology, tarot etc.) since high school, so people have been coming to me for readings and advice for many years.  It occurs to me that I could offer these services to the public and promote my SmartAstro product, and my zine! And my crafts!

I'm a product and a service!

On the other hand, it is likely I will offend you and put you off.  I want to be as candid and lewd as I want in my writing.  I want to experiment with ideas that might offend housewives and dumb people and Muslims. What doesn't offend them?
I want to offend Republicans, women, religious groups, and all white people, so you will question yourselves, and change!  Why are you offended?  Why are your feelings hurt?  

Because when you first meet the truth, it hurts.  So if I hurt your feelings, it means I taught you something.  Even if you hate me for it.  So, your welcome, and fuck you too!  

Two Types Of Moms?

Pretty much there are only 2 types of Moms.  Normal moms, and moms like me.  

Most people around here are christian, white, working for a living and praying for the best.  Yankee pride.  Well, I'm an outsider x 3.

We moved to Maine from Texas, when I was in 5th grade.  So I didn't have the same values that people born and raised here had.  #not-normal-because-culture 

Also, I wasn't raised with the church, so I have never read the bible and I don't know the stories or characters or songs.  We were raised with astrology and crystals and tarot cards and rituals and talismans and even spells.  #not-normal-because-religion

And if that's not weird enough...

No one in my family ever went to college, or had a real career (other than astro/tarot readings).  My mother never even went to high school.  She came from a family of criminal gypsies.  So I didn't really understand what college was for until my junior year in high school.  It was never an issue for me because it didn't apply to me.  I wasn't going to go and I always sort of knew that.  
#not-normal-because-class 

 Is this how all "the poor people" are because I'm guessing yes.  It is actually a different culture, with different values passed down from one generation to the next, isn't it?  You didn't realize how segregated you were from "the poor people" did you?  No wonder you don't understand the big picture.  

I feel black, speaking in this context.  Because this is the context that black people (and other minorities) get lumped into, and I feel it.  Because I lived there with you guys.  And in Texas I was the minority, in Garland, where white kids were few and far between. 

So, normal Moms, I'm talking to you right now.  You were brought up a certain way and you are probably still mostly that way and teaching that way to your children.  That's normal.  You might even feel that Yankee pride swell a little when you hear my story, and thank God you didn't have to grow up like that.

Of course the down side to "normal" is that you will raise your children in a bubble that YOU DIDN'T EVEN CREATE and hold them back from knowledge and experiences under the guise of "keeping them safe" because the ugly truth is that you believe that your way (God's way?) is the only way.  That if people don't experience the same things you experience, then there must be something wrong with those people, it must be their own fault.  #normal-because-we're-us-and-they-are-them  #america #christians #oblivious #whitepeople #classists #afraid-of-everything #ignorant #brainwashed #misplaced-pride #what-are-you-so-proud-of-yankee

My Response To An Article About Amy Schumer's Response

Here's the article I just read:

http://www.upworthy.com/read-amy-schumers-excellent-response-to-a-racist-joke-she-made-2-years-ago?c=upw1&u=a4398d3ed569d1848fdaaebbe0c8491885919bb1

The author was offended by this joke and believes it's racist:

"I used to date Hispanics, but now I prefer consensual."

On the surface, I guess it's the equivalent of saying all Hispanic men are rapists... isn't that what Donald Trump said?

But what Amy said is not the equivalent of what Donald Trump said!

What Amy said is the equivalent of, "In my experience, all Hispanic guys are sexist, macho alphas who believe that women were made by God for men to have sex with, so, ya know, typical Catholics.  They think they own you."

Have you ever dated a Hispanic guy?  Thought not.

You can't be offended by something unless it's true.  And when you feel offended, all of your critical thinking systems shut down so you can attack or defend.  

If Donald Trump promised to buy us all thinking caps, he could probably get my vote.

Like and share this, please!  Donald Trump should see this.  Amy too.

I got yer back, gurlfriend!