I Get By With A Little Help From My Imaginary Friends

I have maybe 10-15 imaginary friends.  Some are around more than others.

1. Jane Austen.  
I actually became Jane Austen while reading her works.  I adopted her manner of speech, and her English accent, in my own writing.  Quite by accident!  Reading begets imagination and fantasy, all while you are inside someone else's head!  How can you NOT be imaginary friends at that point? 

2. Sarah Silverman.  
She is always teasing me about being in love with Bill Maher.  She's all like "Bill and Lil up in a tree...."

3. Bill Maher.  
I never would've sorted out my Planet Venis idea if it hadn't been for him.  His feedback helped me make a bad idea, well,  a little less bad.  He's gotten less funny with age, but still, I like having someone smart to bounce ideas around with.  

4. The Wise Sloth.  
I got sucked into his blogosphere maybe a couple years ago, and we've been imaginary friends ever since.  He has helped me understand the military and christianity, among other things.  He even helped me with one of my videos.  

I actually asked The Wise Sloth for an interview in real life, since the imaginary one went so well.  I didn't tell him there was an imaginary interview already, though.  Which is probably why he said yes.

Bill Maher got a little jealous when I told him about it, and it was adorable.  He was all like "oh so you're all in love with the wise sloth now?"  And I was all like, "yeah except he's a sloth, lucky for you."

Avascular Necrosis and PRC

post-op

Avascular necrosis means death from lack of blood supply.  So a couple of my wrist bones somehow lost their blood supply, died and withered, which caused me pain and limited movement.  There was no event, no car accident, no fist fight, no I didn't punch a wall.  If I were angry enough to throw a punch, it would be a left hook.  And that's only happened, like, maybe twice.  

I just thought it was arthritis.  I ignored it for a long time until I couldn't take the pain anymore.  I went to the doctor because I wanted to play guitar again.

my scar today

I was surprised to find out that I needed surgery.  They removed the 3 offending bones from my wrist in a procedure called Proximal Row Carpectomy.  

weird bump

deformed thumb joint

They say it takes up to 1.5 years to recover from this, so that means November 2016.  We shall see.  I had 6 weeks of physical therapy, which amounted to massage and stretching and was excruciating.  My wrist does not bend back AT ALL.  I can't do my girly push ups anymore, for example, cuz I can't bend or bear weight on that wrist.  Or open a jar.

I haven't tried to play piano or drums yet.  I have played the guitar a little, just enough to figure out the chords to "exes and ohs" by Elle King.  I hope someday I can strap on and rock out.  (with my cock out, of course).   At the very least, I hope someday it stops hurting all the time.  Amen.

Decoding The Mysteries Of Myself

I took this free strengths test, and got a detailed report for free.  What did I get out of it?  Well, it was accurate.  My main results were 

1. potential cultivator (cultivator of potential)
2. integrator
3. thinker
4. student
5. presenter


Afterward, they offered me a free personality test, which I took.  Then they gave me a peek of the results, 

MBTI: INTP
rational-architect
main quality: problem solving

and offered me the detailed report for $3.95.  Which I bought, and I'm glad I did.  It was so accurate I actually cried.

The take away was that they've classified people into 4 basic personality types- artisan, guardian, rational, idealist.  Each of those 4 has a subset.

So within the personality type "rational", for example, there are 4 subtypes- field marshal, mastermind, inventor, architect.

Rationals are sparse, an estimated 5-10% of the population, and architects are as rare as maybe 1% of the population.

No wonder I feel so alone!  

It's kind of a relief to know that, odds are, no one will ever understand me.  That being said, maybe now I can figure out how to write jokes that work.