Planet Venis Misspelled In Public! Real Womanhood Exposed!

Play Time With Bill & Lil

My Bill Night-Maher!

Hence the "no difference" limerick:

99% To The 1%: Why Don't You Just Bribe Us?

Rich people, it's time we make a deal.

You've managed to buy the elections and the lawmaking process.  You affected the changes that allowed you to become the 1% over the last 30 years.  

And as long as there was a happy, middle-class general population, nobody cared.  

But you fucked up.  You done took too much, and now the middle class is too far below the poverty line to be called "middle".  We see what you did there, and we're sick of it!

You guys are fucking old and your days are numbered.  

When the change comes, you guys are gonna have to start paying taxes.  And all your loopholes will be closed, and the government won't belong to you anymore. 

In the meantime, you want things to stay the same?  Easy.
BRIBE US WITH GOOD LIFE AND WE LEAVE YOU ALONE.  Duh.

Humorism vs. Comedy

One of these days I will figure it out.  I will crack you guys up and you won't even see it coming cuz I won't even be kidding.  In the meantime, I appreciate the small amount of attention and loyalty that I'm currently getting, even if you're laughing at me the wrong way.  Cheers <3

I Like Knowing Stuff

In The Background

Confessions of a Know-It-All

Growing up, I was always around people who didn't care about politics, causes or changing the world.  Didn't care, didn't know, didn't want to know.  Which I had always thought to be an issue of class.  If you're struggling to get food and heat, who cares what's going on in the world, right?  Makes sense when you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs ladder- you sort out your physical needs first before social needs.  

Then in my 20's, I realized it's an issue of gender.  Specifically, women don't care about politics.  Most women let their husbands deal with anything of the outside world, because they have their hands full with the inside world of kids and chores and work and shopping and husbands.

(Um, aren't you a poor, busy mom writing about caring about politics right now?  wtf?)

Yes, I was wrong.  Clearly women and poor people are perfectly capable of understanding the hooza-whatcha-call-it world thingy.

Lately I've been reading about ancient Rome, specifically the republic before the empire, the senate and voting and plebeians, nobles, aristocrats, patricians and all this shit looking for parallels to today. 

And I found the satires of Juvenal, who is basically a comedian and a historian at the same time.  He observed that the campaign and election process had become meaningless and ineffective, since the voters were bribed with free grain and parties and shit and that's how the votes were "won".  They were bought.

From Wikipedia: 

Juvenal is the source of many well-known maxims, including: 

• that the common people—rather than caring about their freedom—are only interested in “bread and circuses” (panem et circenses 10.81; i.e. food and entertainment)

So, the person with the most resources would win the election, not the person with the most qualifications.  In the Roman Republic.  In like, the year 90 or 100.  Hm, that sounds familiar!

In conclusion, the way to a plebeian's heart is through their stomach, politics neglect actual governance, and I'm definitely the reincarnation of Julius Caesar. 

Literally, Some Thoughts On Page To Screen Changes

I'm a HUGE fan of Game of Thrones, and the book series behind it.  Some parts of the book were written in such a way that would leave room for interpretation, but when it came time to adapt it for the show, the "room for interpretation" went away and the audience was shown everything.

This happened to me recently.  I wrote the labor day Sucky episode in prose first.  At the end, when Bale said he was thinking about public execution, I couldn't decide:

is he innocently stuck on public execution?
or is he mad at her for going off and making that remark about her?

But in prose you don't need to decide.  You can leave it to the reader.

When I made the video, I included a picture of a vampire being staked through the heart, to make it clear that "thinking about public execution" really meant "wishing I could fucking kill you right now".

Oh, Bale.  You stupid dick.

Confessions Of A Red Wine Snob

Sucky The Vampire: Labor Day

Sucky is a thousand year old vampire, who lives discreetly among humans in the American south.

She and her boyfriend, Bale, are sitting by the campfire at a party on the lake, where some friends are spending Labor Day weekend.  As usual, Bale has insisted that they try to have some fun, and as usual, Sucky cannot oblige.

"Oh for fuck's sake Sucky" Bill says impatiently.  "What is it this time?"

Sucky responds with disgust.  "The stench of burning meat, for one.  Excuse me for having memories triggered by smell.... I mean, you haven't experienced public "people burning" like I have, so... believe me, this is what it smells like... ...and nobody even gets Labor Day!  I mean, President Cleveland fucked over a railroad union, then he "apologized" by making you take a day off from work, but doesn't require it to be a paid holiday?  Isn't that kind of a kick in the balls?  Labor Day is supposed to be for supporting unions and celebrating strength in numbers... of course, if that were common knowledge then Labor Day would probably be repealed by Republicans, cuz, ya know, they don't want unions running around, protecting people's rights..."

"Well shit" says Bale, his eyes glazed over.  "While you were bitchin' about politics, I was thinkin' about public execution."

One of these days, Sucky thinks to herself, I am gonna Kill Bale...


*Parody of True Blood and reference to Kill Bill, for props

Sucky The Vampire: Independence Day

 Sucky is a thousand year old vampire, who lives discreetly among humans in the American south.

She and her boyfriend, Bale, are at the Independence Day fireworks display.  As usual, Bale has insisted that they try to have some fun, and as usual, Sucky cannot oblige.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sucky" Bale says impatiently.  "What is it this time?"

Sucky responds with disgust.  "This is stupid.  Fireworks that commemorate war by replicating the sounds of it... I mean, do we really need more explosions in the world?  I know I've seen enough to last a hundred lifetimes... This really takes me back, by the way.  I'm getting PTSD all over again."

"Well shit" says Bale.  "If PTSD is anything like PMS, we better get the fuck outta here before you get it!"

One of these days, Sucky thinks to herself, I am gonna kill Bale...


*Parody of True Blood and reference to Kill Bill, for props