When Mom's Not Happy, Nobody's Happy

When I'm happy, my kids are happy.  And I'm not happy.

I'm an average American mom, so my number one priority is to make it seem like my kids are happy, skinny geniuses.  But the economy is so bad that I can no longer afford to bribe them.

It's also important to seem like I'm sober, so I need to look hot, dress with style and keep the house sparkling clean.  Easy.  I just don't fucking bother.

My kids tell me I'm way funnier when I'm happy, so wtf is the problem?  I tell them, being a mother gets in the way of being my natural self, which by now could have been a rich and famous person.  I also tell them it's not their fault, it's mine, and they're like, duh, we know.  Of course they know that, they are geniuses.

They even do half-assed chores sometimes, just to show they care.