Why 50 Shades Is Appealing To Women

*Update: because I finally watched the fucking movie.  


They have "first time" sex once, then all he wants to do is tie her up, go down on her and then fuck her.  She doesn't ever blow him, he won't even let her touch him.

Wait, so you wanna tie me up and I'll just lay here while you do all the work?  Can I get that in writing?  

No wonder 50 Shades is appealing to women!

Only scroll down if you need instructions on decoding women using their menstrual cycle, or if you enjoy my drunken TMI rants.


old blog:
I haven't read or seen 50 Shades of Black&Blue-I mean-Grey.  Only the trailer and a youtube video called "everything wrong" with it.  It seems the gist of it is that the guy is Dominant and the girl is Submissive.  

A popular opinion is that women secretly want to be controlled and the popularity of this movie proves it.  Women fear that this opinion translates to a justification of rape, because they don't want to be raped.  Controlled is up for discussion.  See the difference?  Please see the difference.

Gay people talk about tops and bottoms all the time, but most straight people don't.  I realized in my 30's that I am a bottom, and I wish I had been able to articulate that at a much younger age.  Take away: know yourself, articulate, cut your losses, get what you need, before it's too late.

I think the appeal of 50 shades is the written contract, to be honest.  And the kink... being served up in a seemingly caring and protective hostage-like situation.  Intriguing...

Now I need to articulate something else that will help males interact with females, and females interact with themselves.

Women are on a menstrual cycle.  So, when she's on her period, that's week one.  Shark Week.  That's the calm after the storm. 

Week 2, she's got more energy and is probably a bit horny.

Week 3, even more energy and wicked fucking horny.

Week 4, PMS, very emotional, crying for seemingly no reason- leave her alone all week (this week for me, FYI)

That's it.  That's the key to every menstruating female in the world.  Please follow it exactly god dammit!