Sucky The Vampire: Independence Day

 Sucky is a thousand year old vampire, who lives discreetly among humans in the American south.

She and her boyfriend, Bale, are at the Independence Day fireworks display.  As usual, Bale has insisted that they try to have some fun, and as usual, Sucky cannot oblige.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sucky" Bale says impatiently.  "What is it this time?"

Sucky responds with disgust.  "This is stupid.  Fireworks that commemorate war by replicating the sounds of it... I mean, do we really need more explosions in the world?  I know I've seen enough to last a hundred lifetimes... This really takes me back, by the way.  I'm getting PTSD all over again."

"Well shit" says Bale.  "If PTSD is anything like PMS, we better get the fuck outta here before you get it!"

One of these days, Sucky thinks to herself, I am gonna kill Bale...


*Parody of True Blood and reference to Kill Bill, for props