Brutal Honesty

Why is it so hard to be honest about what I want?  Communication is pointless without honesty, and if it's too hard for me to say, then I'm gonna have to write it down.  And if I want something specific from my partner, I gotta figure out a way to tell him.  Lucky for him, I'm quite simple.

All I ask, is that my partner is nice to me.  Don't insult me.  Don't try to make me feel bad for things I don't feel bad about.  Don't leave passive-aggressive messes around the house for me to clean up.  Clean your own shit out of the toilet.  Clean up after yourself.  Do your own laundry.  Buy and make your own food if you don't like what I make, I am not a restaurant.

Respect my schedule.  For 2 weeks out of the month I will be very horny and I will need attention.  I will do anything you ask of me- except anal- as long as I get my oral-fuck-oral-fuck thing that I like before you finish.  

The other 2 weeks of the month, I barely even think about sex, so you have to tell me when you need it.  You can bend me over pretty much anytime to meet your daily needs, as long as you leave me alone for the other 23 1/2 hours of the day, because those 2 weeks are for cleaning the house, socializing and my creative endeavors.  Of course if I had a partner who liked socializing or helping me with my projects, the "leave me alone" rule would scarcely apply.

Ideally, my partner would actually like me, respect me, know who I am and understand where I'm going.  I should be with someone who enjoys weed and wine and can take a joke.  Someone with as much confidence and capability as I have.  Someone who sees the big picture, someone at least as worldly as I am.  Someone who has been homeless like me, someone who has seen the worst of people, like me.  Someone who understands the real world because they've lived in it.  Someone with a depression-era attitude like me, someone who isn't a spoiled little bitch who thinks repairs are beneath them and needs everything to be brand new all the time.  That is so wasteful and selfish!  Life is too short for this bullshit!