Baby Boomers: The Generation Too Defiant To Bridge The Gap

My Nana described dating in the early 1940's.

Guys already knew they weren't getting any until their wedding night, so taking a girl out was like a test.  If he still wanted to fuck her after the date, you were courting.  If not, you "had a swell time" and moved on.

That is chivalry, albeit in the context of the world being run by men and the home being run by women.

People nowadays think "chivalry" refers to "opening doors and paying for dates, because they'll be rewarded with sex". 

Clearly, it all boils down to the biological sexual needs of men, and how they act upon them.  

Do you take what you need, or do you earn it?

The word is knightly.  Defender of royalty must not be savage, like animals- which is the opposite of civilized.  It's about the ability to be trusted and reasoned with.  For fuck's sake, what have we been teaching our boys for the last several hundred years?

Knights Are Gay, Be A Rapist

Similarly, feminism is misinterpreted by today's women.  They think it means they can have all the sexual freedom they want, win every fight, be the boss of things without having to know or do half the shit the guy has to do, as long as they look good (or put out).

Because studying doesn't pay off the way sleeping around does!

FYI, the biological needs of women are not sexual.  If a female claims she needs sex like a guy needs it, she is lying and needs therapy.  She probably hates herself even more than her kids do.  But I digress.

Feminism is about women being equal to men with regard to the scope of opportunity in education and occupation.  That's all.  It's supposed to be about fairness, in the instance that a man and a woman are of equal intelligence and motivation.  So obviously more relevant in the 1940's than now.

That "sexual revolution" that happened in the swingin' 60's gave feminism a bad name.  And that name was Proud Slut.

Art and Foreign Policy While Picking Up Toys

Toot Toot, bitchez

Thomas & Friends, if you don't already know, is a British children's show about talking trains, whose boss looks like a fat Will Arnett, 


 




and whose theme song features the kids from Another Brick In The Wall,  

"Tho Mas And His Frieeeeeends!"

Anyway, my son loves it.  And it's bedtime, so I'm picking up trains and dumping them into the box, which reads "Thomas Visits the Castle".  I happened to notice the 6 translations, because that's 3 more than you normally see on a product, and I notice things like that.

Thomas Visite le chateau

Thomas Visita el castillo

Thomas Besucht die Burg

Thomas Bezeokt het kasteel

Thomas Visita il castello

Thomas Visita ao castelo

French, Spanish, German, Dutch, Italian and Portuguese I bet- I totally didn't check and I'm only guessing after Spanish.  I don't see European languages enough to be sure.  But I sure do have that Thomas the train song stuck in my head!  And in otras idiomas... Actually only Spanish.

"To Mas Y Su Amigoooooos!"

"Tho Mas And His EuropeanUnion Frieeeeeeends!"  

The foreign languages I do see around are French, Spanish, Arabic and at least four African languages....

And since I'm on the subject, I looked some shit up real quick.  According to the US refugee admissions data, the largest refugee language in America is Iraqi.  That I did not expect, but it totally makes sense.

"Tho Mas And His Displaced Refugee Frieeeeeends!"

Meanwhile, may I present: Train Tracks On Canvas, my latest brilliant idea for storing this pain in the ass train set!

Train Track On Canvas, by Nancy Cartonio (above), with a belt attached for hanging on the wall (see top photo).

Raised On Planet Venis, Now Living On Planet Penus

When I was a kid, somehow I came to believe that smart and pretty were opposites.  I was reading by age 4, and when I was 9, I beat my stepdad in a game of chess.  Other girls were pretty, but I was the smart one.

During puberty, I wished I was pretty.

In my 20's, I realized I am actually kind of pretty, and I could be more pretty if I tried, so I started trying.

In my 30's, I used Facebook to prove myself pretty.   Mission accomplished! Facebook has helped many people to remind me that I am pretty.

And not just me, everybody was out fishing when we first got Facebook. Remember the "boudoir photo shoots" trend?  Every girl I knew was playing lingerie model in their spare time.  Facebook was like a Fredrick's of Hollywood catalog, starring me and my Facebook friends.

At some point in my mid 30's I began studying psychology, and that is why I can honestly say:

In America, girls who don't look like Barbie believe they are unfuckable, and that is a very dangerously false thing for a girl to believe about herself.  Girls who believe nobody wants to fuck them, might also believe they will be safe at a Frat party.

I don't begrudge a girl looking good and getting attention, I'm talking about the brainwashing of young girls, low self esteem causing them to seek approval using their sex appeal, and we've all done it, because it's easy.  It's the easiest ego boost ever.  But the fact that you needed it in the first place is due to the systemic, generational problem of girls choosing to enhance their looks over their brains and accomplishments.  And it's not paying off like our grandmothers said it would!  But I digress.

Refrigerators don't try to attract magnets.  The magnets just stick, no matter what the fridge does.  Refrigerators are working all day and all night, and magnets are just jumping on when ever they get close enough.

But it's tolerated because one of those magnets could turn out to be the magnet of their dreams.

Either way, a refrigerator should be at peace with itself first.

I think that is perfectly logical advice.

Valentine's Day: 50 Shades of Stupid

I ignore Valentine's Day as much as the other holidays.  Gift-giving for the sake of a holiday is meaningless; you're just following learned rules of conduct.  And it's wasteful.  I mean, handing out Valentines at school?  What a waste of paper-and time!  They end up in the trash!  And the kids don't give a fuck! Why are we doing this?  I'm too practical to think it's cute.

I will say, in the spirit of things, I am happy to share some things I've learned about how to be in a healthy relationship.

1. Plan A- Be Nice, Plan B- Go Away.
   After our first big fight, my boyfriend and I agreed to not let future fights escalate.  We agreed to leave the room/tell the other to leave the room when we felt pissed enough to insult, yell or hit.  A good place to start.  Also, it's the least you can do.

2. Have Separate Rooms.
  We moved rooms around in our house in order to accommodate this and it was well worth it, so we could have our shared bedroom and each our own lair.

3.  Be Individual People.
   Time alone, honing our respective crafts, but also sharing responsibilities and bills.  Learning to be honest about what we want without the other taking it personally.

4. Be Specific About Your Roles.
  For example, my boyfriend would insist on doing certain things that I used to do in the before times, like mowing and painting.  He's way better at those things than I am.  But I painted my room by myself, due to his working a lot and my impatience.  It looks pretty awesome.  Anyway the point is people need to know what is expected of them and what they will get in return.  Like, if your partner thinks they don't have to clean their own skid marks out of the toilet, you need to know that, so you can break up with them (or teach them how and give them another chance).

5. Prioritize Financial Security.
  A functional relationship needs a solid foundation.  Grow up.  Get the bills paid and the budget sorted out, together as a team.  Live on Frugal Rock for awhile (clap, clap).


AND NEVER SAY I TOLD YOU SO!

I Killed Christmas (But I Swear It Was In Self Defense)

Three years ago,  I learned the hard way: participating in christmas (i.e. obligatory spending of money on gifts for everyone) is not practical and should not be a cultural expectation in today's economy.  When you really think about it, christmas should be a simple, laid-back, gift-free visit, like thanksgiving.

So I cancelled thanksgiving, and changed the rules of christmas to "no presents, just presence", to relieve us all from the financial stress of getting presents for everyone (and to relieve the sweatshop children, but I can't tell them that).

My mom doesn't like it.  Since I don't even put up christmas decorations or a christmas tree, "it just doesn't feel like christmas," so I'm like "it's supposed to feel like thanksgiving" and then she's like, "well I want christmas with presents," and I'm like, "we're too poor for that," and she's all like, "that's what the dollar store is for," and I'm all like, "we're too poor to be blowing money on useless crap every year, and when you shop there you are killing babies in singapore,"

The math alone should be enough to convey my stance: if income minus expenses = not much, then maybe you shouldn't spend anything for awhile, a long while.  Maybe make some sacrifices now that will pay off in the future, like not spending frivolously.  Simple and effective.

So anyway, now we have to go to her place on christmas eve.

Of course, I'm supposed to keep my principles in my mouth, to be polite.  But for real real, for the third year in a row, I am not getting christmas presents for anyone, not even my kids.  That's what birthdays are for!

And for the record, I challenge you to challenge yourself: who do you live your life for?  whose approval are you seeking?  is all of this stress your idea?  is it worth the cost?

"This Is What WE THE PEOPLE Looks Like", On Paper

How to protest in America without corporal punishment

Seriously, fuck protesting.  No matter how many angry townspeople turn up to march with signs, the powers that be will not be influenced; they'll just sic the cops on you and go about their secret business.  But if every protester holding a sign was at home holding a pen instead, we might have a chance of affecting change without any casualties.

How To Take Back Our Government Without Fear of Death

Americans should be able to gather in peaceful protest without any police there at all, because if trouble arises, one of the peaceful protesters (or all of them) will use their smart phones to call 911.  I mean, why am I pointing this out when it should be the norm in America in 2014?

If the token greatness of american citizenship known around the world is our constitutional freedoms, supposedly, then we must find a way to utilize it on paper.

What about a class action lawsuit?  Maybe "We the people" could sue the government, or maybe the attorney general or the supreme court or the whole judicial system for breach of contract, referring to the Constitution as the contract.  A government is not working for or by its people when it trying to break up peaceful protests at all, let alone by deadly force; that would be working against its people, in every sense of the Constitutional meaning.  After all, we pay taxes, and in return we are supposed to get civilization; Government execution of unarmed civilians is not civilized, it's the dark ages.

We want the laws to change and justice to be served fairly or else we will stop paying federal taxes, and support only our states or cities, and no longer pledge allegiance to the flag, or we will burden you with so much paperwork, or whatever we can come up with, on paper, in addendum, so on and so forth, et cetera.  My point is that on paper, in legalese, we could get unjust laws repealed and replaced with fair laws, whereas gathering on the front lines could get us killed and maybe raise some awareness.

At the very least, let's start wearing our Photo ID's/driver's licenses/student ID's etc as "badges" on our shirts or around our necks- like hospital workers and employees of large companies wear for security purposes- in protest.  To make the statement,
"this is what WE THE PEOPLE looks like" because we're supposed to have a voice, and not be killed for using it.  We need a news anchor to report this going viral on the evening news.

Maybe we should all file for divorce from the Federal Government in protest!  I mean, I can only speak for myself but, I wasn't given the option to sign a pre-nup at the beginning of this arrangement, and I was underage at the time, so I didn't know what I was getting into, and I want it annulled.  Hm....

Here's some thought topics (imagine doug benson's pot topics music here, as I did.  Sorry!)  and incidentally I meant to say food for thought.  But really what I mean is stuff I've been thinking about that led me to spew- I mean write this.

~ the laws that have been passed over the last 30 years have resulted in diminished rights to our money, our bodies, our free speech, our environment, our guns, our social security, resulting in a downward sloping economy to say the least, and ruined our middle class

~ a few years ago civilian police officers were given military equipment from the government due to a surplus,  and the result is an apparent behavioral disorder known as "young boys with toys" syndrome.  These video-game inspired action heroes are unleashed, to harass and corporally punish unarmed citizens for protesting or standing their ground, or just standing there, or at home sleeping, or whatever, it's a fun little warm-up for them, that they're allowed to do now

~  nationwide news stories of militarized cops busting into houses unwarranted, killing pets, killing pregnant moms and kids playing with toys, and I could go on.

~ Eric Garner died on camera while the cops insisted he was breathing, and the EMT girl played along; Garner had been polite and articulate the whole time they were harassing him, and subsequently manhandling him, sitting on him and strangling him to death.  Again, the whole scenario is on camera- there is no way to deny it, and no way to justify it, no matter what was on his record

~I don't want to live in this country while that stuff is allowed to happen, and neither do all the people risking their lives protesting on the front lines, oh those guys...  Please, you guys, put your badges on!

****down in the anals of the blog****
I think, wearing a "badge" , if you will, might have a psychological effect on cops somehow, flipping their first impression of you from "bad guy" to "good guy" in small confrontations, though, not mass protests.

 of course in order to prove or disprove this theory, one would have to wear their badge around in places where they normally wouldn't, and while they go about their personal business, and see if it makes a difference in the way they are treated.

I admit I am a little weird, I'm ok with it.

She Says "I Want To Save The World!'"- He Says "The Curtains Look Like Shit!"

There are many things in this world to care about; many reasons in life to feel distress.  Too many for any human to manage all at once, therefore, these cares must be prioritized in order to function in our lives.

I have racked my brain and wrecked my eyes trying to come up with solutions to global problems.  Yes, really, I read and research and learn and get upset and brainstorm and debate and discuss- and those who know me can attest- I'm one of those people who can't "just listen", indeed I must fix it.  Not in an OCD way- the bottom drawer in my kitchen is technically still broken even though I "fixed" it, but hey, I'm not made of money, so it can wait.  Many things to pay for in life, and one must prioritize.  But I digress- This is about "many things to care about", and I am setting you up for a brilliant punchline. ;)

So getting back to all the things there are to care about, like the exploitation of the earth's natural resources, rape culture, feminism, racism, classism, the apparent goal of all police, EMT and government entities to kill off all the black people, America's betrayal of its own Constitution, the economic disaster we're in, the island of trash in the Pacific, I could go on and on...

SO WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS UPSET ABOUT UN-HEMMED CURTAINS, IT RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY.

In conclusion, everything you say is a reflection of who you really are and what you really care about in life,  and whether you are aware of it or not, smart people like me are totally judging you.

Celebrities, fashion, gossip, getting famous or rich, are all very low on my list of prioritized cares.  Hemming those fucking curtains is dead last.