I will say, in the spirit of things, I am happy to share some things I've learned about how to be in a healthy relationship.
1. Plan A- Be Nice, Plan B- Go Away.
After our first big fight, my boyfriend and I agreed to not let future fights escalate. We agreed to leave the room/tell the other to leave the room when we felt pissed enough to insult, yell or hit. A good place to start. Also, it's the least you can do.
2. Have Separate Rooms.
We moved rooms around in our house in order to accommodate this and it was well worth it, so we could have our shared bedroom and each our own lair.
3. Be Individual People.
Time alone, honing our respective crafts, but also sharing responsibilities and bills. Learning to be honest about what we want without the other taking it personally.
4. Be Specific About Your Roles.
For example, my boyfriend would insist on doing certain things that I used to do in the before times, like mowing and painting. He's way better at those things than I am. But I painted my room by myself, due to his working a lot and my impatience. It looks pretty awesome. Anyway the point is people need to know what is expected of them and what they will get in return. Like, if your partner thinks they don't have to clean their own skid marks out of the toilet, you need to know that, so you can break up with them (or teach them how and give them another chance).
5. Prioritize Financial Security.
A functional relationship needs a solid foundation. Grow up. Get the bills paid and the budget sorted out, together as a team. Live on Frugal Rock for awhile (clap, clap).
AND NEVER SAY I TOLD YOU SO!
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