Venting

My brother came to live with me, again, because he was homeless and had nowhere else to go, again.

He got kicked out of the place he was staying for disturbing the peace.  And he got kicked out of the place he lived before that for living there illegally.  Before that he was in Caribou*.  Before that he was here.  Before that he was squatting in the abandoned house around the corner.  Before that he was here.  Before that he was with a girlfriend.  The pattern is clear- He is going to end up living with me forever.  And he doesn't contribute financially to the household- he isn't normal like that, never has been.

The truth is, my brother is autistic, dyslexic, and has PTSD and behavior disorders, anxiety and probably depression too.  He isn't one of those on the spectrum who seems "retarded" right away; when you first meet him he seems normal... until you get him talking.  Autistic people tend to talk incessantly about things they care about, they are in their own world and don't pick up social cues like a neuro-typical person would.  He also has some physical attributes of ASD such as wide-open eyes and spastic movements.

The trouble is, he won't let me take him to the doctor.  He needs diagnosis and treatment, therapy, anger management.  He could get on disability, which would cover his room and board.  I offered to take him and be his payee and do all the paperwork for him because I know he has a hard time with paperwork, but still he refuses.  He wants to continue to live as a transient scavenger.  He doesn't seem to understand (or care) that society can't have him living like that and he will end up in jail.  He can't manage his emotions, his behavior, his temper, his time or money, his belongings, his life.  He isn't normal.  And we have a lifetime of documented incidents to prove it.

A couple years ago he was arrested and beaten by police just for being himself.  Strangers misunderstand him and are afraid of him.  People call the cops on him all the damn time.  He is loud and unruly.  And nobody knows that he is autistic.

In the meantime, all we do is fight.  He throws temper tantrums and makes messes.  He is a 42 year old toddler who disturbs the neighbors.

I am at my wits end.  How do you help someone who won't be helped?

*My brother wanted to own a house, so he bought the cheapest one he could find on craigslist.  And it's in Caribou, a 6 hour drive away.  So he technically owns a house, but he also owes property taxes, and can't hold a job, and can't afford the utilities so he can't live there in the winter.  So the house just sits there accumulating debt and will probably be taken from him.

Being In Love Is Dumb

my girl,  her man is the worst,

she's always doin things for him he wouldnt do for her,

he just keep piling on the work, getting on my nerves

and she's madly in love with this shit she doesnt deserve

I fell in love with someone I'd only met online

who lived very far away

not once but twice in my life 

It's ridiculous

So now I'm seeing someone

I won't fall in love with

who honors my royalty

and serves me with loyalty

he's available 

lives with his mama 

dont need a job

so hes here when i need him

how can i say no

Advice For Stupid Debt Collectors, From A Pro

I was a debt collector at a prominent agency for many years.  I eventually became the Collections Manager, where I was responsible for 2 offices that were 3 hours away from each other.  I was in charge of everything from staffing and training to consoling angry customers who demanded to speak to a supervisor, but my main job was to make sure we collected X amount of money each month to meet our budget.  And if we exceeded that amount, we got a nice commission.

Most debt collectors are stupid, selfish, entry level peons who have no idea what they're doing or why, who get paid like 9 bucks an hour and generally have no idea how the world works.  That's no excuse for using bully tactics, but it is probably the reason for them.  

So here's some advice for you fucking morons:

1. There are only 3 types of debtors:
-those who don't answer or hang up on you
-those who answer and make a payment arrangement
-those who answer and pay you over the phone

And you have absolutely no control over these people, your words mean nothing.

2. Collections is just a numbers game.  Your success is determined by the law of averages, not by being a salesman.  You can ask them to pay, but do not waste time trying to refute every reason why they can't.

3. When you get a debtor on the phone, make your pitch, ask for payment in full over the phone.  If they won't, make a payment arrangement and then leave them the fuck alone.  Keep the call as short as possible.

4. The more people you call, the more likely you are to find that third type of debtor.  You cannot change type 2 into type 3, nobody can.  If you even try, you're harassing them and I hope they sue your pants off, you dumb cunt.  

You don't have to be a shitty person to do this shitty job.

"This is an attempt to collect a debt, any information obtained will be used for that purpose"

Fake It Til You Make It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

You seem to think it means "act confident", "just tell them what they wanna hear" or "pretend you understand".

It doesn't.

"Fake it til you make it" is not a show you put on for others, it is a deal you make with yourself.

This is how you do it:

1. Figure out why you hate yourself (hint: you already know).  Identify the thing about yourself that you want to change (my body, my life, my temper, etc)

2. Figure out how you can make peace with it, either by developing a new attitude about it or changing your daily habits, and make a plan ON PAPER that you will look at and follow and practice every single day
(diet/exercise, new job, behavioral therapy, etc)

3. Fake it til you make it.  Which means force yourself to not do what you always do.  Force yourself to follow your new plan, go through the motions of your new habit, even though you don't feel like it in the moment, and keep forcing yourself until the new habit is your go-to habit.

It's "faking" that you really want to be doing this "new habit action" when you really don't.  But you really do... You just have to find a way trick yourself while you practice your new habit, which should only take 21 days to develop if you're consistent....

Correlation Between Interest And Investment (Of The Heart)

I have no patience for bullshit and I'd just as soon cut to the chase.  Keep it simple, I say, get to the point, quit prefacing and just blurt it out already.  But not always.  God forbid people are honest when they're trying to hook up!

But no, you have to play games.

If a guy shows interest in you, you are allowed to reciprocate that interest.  But if you show signs of investment, he will lose interest.

It seems counter-intuitive (and counter productive) to a robotic nerd like me but I swear it's true.  So remember the rule:

Less Investment = More Interest
More Investment = Less Interest

Be The Heroine Of Your Story

Sansa begs to marry the prince.

Your life is your movie, and you are the protagonist.  You can't help how your story started, but you can take control now.

Think about your character arc.  In any story, the main character starts out one way... 

My dream come true!

...and ends up different.  Their conflicts or struggles teach them something and they grow.


Now consider a basic story arc.  The first act establishes the characters and setting.  The second act will present a problem.  The third act is where the protagonist feels defeated and has given up all hope, and the conclusion is the final showdown, where the hero will triumph by using what he has learned.

If you want to be the triumphant heroine in your life, consider this:

The main character is their own worst enemy when they have preconceptions about what is to come.  

Sansa didn't understand disillusionment.  Now she does.

The character experiences a rude awakening and it helps them understand the big picture.  

This understanding leads to their triumph!

Sansa learned the hard way: ignorance is not bliss. 

Apply this to your life by becoming the author of your story.  Assume the position of the third person omniscient storyteller.  

Separate your ego- the character- from yourself- the author.  And be honest with both of yourselves.  

If you can do that, you can think about how your own preconceptions will lead you to a rude awakening, a better understanding, and eventual triumph.  

In other words:

Challenge yourself, and you'll be prepared when life challenges you.

 The right thing to do seems wrong when you don't have all the facts.

Moms Of Maine Need To Know This

click here for Robert Reich's video

In Re: the facebook group "Moms of ME" or something.  It's a group of moms swapping stories and offering advice and shit.  And sob stories, too.



Almost every Maine mom says this: 

"I work more than one job to make ends meet, plus I have to do the house and mommy stuff, and I'm so tired and scared and miserable and I have to pay for daycare so I can work too much and I didn't sign up for this and I'm unhealthy and depressed."

My response to that is this:

"Apply for social services.  Get in the system and start getting the assistance you need.  It's called mandatory spending for a reason!  It's our money to use and if we don't use it, we will lose it!"

The response to my advice is this:

"We make too much money to qualify"

"How dare you tell people to go on welfare that is just wrong!"

"the state can't afford to take care of us!"

"You may be ok with freeloading off the government but I am not!"

Did you read the words on that pic of Robert Reich up there?

You need to understand mandatory spending.  

There is enough money for all of us, but if we don't use it, we'll lose it.  And there's proof all over the internet.

Below I've listed a few links to locals who have written about this issue.  

Of course Robert Reich has been saying this kind of stuff for a while now.  In fact, he mentioned in one of his videos that the whole country should be on medicare; that it would be better for negotiating the rising health care costs.  He also has a video explaining how we've been conditioned (brainwashed) to see welfare (socialism) as a bad thing.  

click for video!

Let that sink in for a minute.  We've been brainwashed to feel bad for needing/using "benefits" (even that word is part of the brainwash) that are essentially our share of the taxpayer generated income, that we've paid into every year!  

And it's MANDATORY that they spend it on us!!!

We have rights to these funds, but we've been made to believe we don't by those who want to steal them!  Like Republicans!  Like Lepage!

Anyway, watch these videos, read those articles, and then go online and apply for EVERY SERVICE.  Even if you think you don't qualify, that doesn't matter.  If enough people apply who are over the limit they have to raise the limit!  Again, if you don't understand the big picture, you have to either trust me or google it yourself!  And I fuckin' dare ya!

I'm trying to educate you, so you feel the appropriate amount of betrayed by your Governor, Paul LePage.

Don't feel guilty or ashamed, because it's not your fault we were tricked!  It's not your fault they shipped all the jobs out.  Our government fucked us, and our economy, and that's why we're all poor!  

Trade your second job for welfare, for fucks sake, because being a Mom is your job.  If you don't believe me, ask your kids.   The next generation is more important than your pride, right?  Plus that pride isn't real, it's old brainwash.  Think about it.  

The federal government gave Maine millions of dollars for welfare, and LePage and Mayhew think it's their own personal slush fund.  

Go read the links, and these aren't all- there's more if you search.

Go online today and fill out an application for TANF, SNAP and Mainecare.  And HEAP.  And WIC.  Do it for the growing number of Mainers living in extreme poverty.  

http://portland.thephoenix.com/news/158009-its-the-money-that-matters/

http://davidfarmer.bangordailynews.com/2016/04/11/republicans/proof-is-in-the-numbers-lepage-is-failing-poor-children/?utm_campaign=Bangor+Daily+News&utm_source=opinion-widget

http://www.newslo.com/paul-lepage-hungry-kids-grow-up-to-be-better-workers-food-stamps-make-them-fat-and-lazy/

http://recoveryrocks.bangordailynews.com/2016/04/12/addiction/how-lepage-and-mayhew-are-perpetuating-the-opiate-epidemic/

http://bangordailynews.com/2016/01/22/opinion/editorials/lepage-is-contracting-out-welfare-to-work-program-for-wrong-reasons/

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/02/10/seeking-to-pressure-lawmakers-lepage-vows-to-reject-federal-riverview-funds/

http://recoveryrocks.bangordailynews.com/2016/03/22/addiction/the-social-work-millions-mary-mayhew-thinks-were-making/

http://bangordailynews.com/2016/02/02/opinion/contributors/its-time-to-focus-on-maines-economy-not-cutting-my-taxes-and-scapegoating-the-poor/

http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/ofi/public-assistance/