I'm All Butt Hurt

I want y'all to know why I'm such a cunt.  

Is there a best way to present this information? Maybe I will start by explaining my condition as clearly as I can: 

I have anal prolapse.  

Not a full on sphincter prolapse, yet. 

The mucousal lining of the rectum is detached and prolapses on a regular basis.  It is a condition that is progressive in nature due to gravity and daily use.  It's an open wound that cannot heal, up inside my rectum, stung by fecal bacteria every single day.

I have to take Milk Of Magnesia and Citrucel every night before I go to bed, to manage this.  Milk Of Mag basically gives me multiple rounds of diarrhea every morning, which is much less painful to pass than something solid.  The Citrucel makes the diarrhea stick together somewhat to prevent diverticulitis (trapped poop debris).  I still get trapped debris every day, and I have to use a lubed, gloved finger to go up and try to remove it or it will get infected.  Sometimes I cant locate the debris but I know its there because I can feel something stuck up in the folds somewhere stinging and burning...

Obviously I have to watch what I eat, because certain things will make this even worse, like kale and sesame seeds and pub mustard, for example.  

This all started in January 2011, right after giving birth. I had corrective surgery in November 2011, but it failed.  Meaning they were not able to reattach the lining to the rectum.  If I were independently wealthy I would have another surgery, but I am on SSDI and Medicare, and Mainecare.  The state wont pay for another surgery because there is still a 50% failure rate at this time.  I've been instructed to just manage this the best I can until technological advances are made!  

And if I cant take the pain? They will remove my rectum and give me a colostomy bag! 

PLEASE, NOT THAT! I suppose I choose pain over that!

But I'm at my wit's end here! My ass is always killing me! Up inside my butt is on fire!  It feels like there is a long scrape on the right side of the inside of my rectum and it stings and throbs constantly.  The prolapsed blossom at the anus is bloody and swollen and sore and I have to sit on it.  Now imagine having poop in there and trying to get it out! It takes all day! And there's blood and pain and more blood and more pain! 

And the threat of a colostomy bag makes it so I dont even wanna complain about it!

I cant work! 
I cant even think straight half the time because of the pain.  
I can't venture too far from a bathroom either!

I had a band, I had gigs, I had a career, and a life.  BUT I DONT WANT A COLOSTOMY BAG FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!

Anyway, all that being said, 

THIS IS WHY IM SUCH A SOCIALIST CUNT.

THIS IS WHY IM A FERVENT POLITICAL LEFT.

THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO PATIENCE OR RESPECT FOR CONSERVATIVE IDEAOLOGIES.  

AND MY DISABILITY MAY NOT BE AN EXCUSE TO BE A CUNT BUT IT IS THE REASON.