Be The Heroine Of Your Story

Sansa begs to marry the prince.

Your life is your movie, and you are the protagonist.  You can't help how your story started, but you can take control now.

Think about your character arc.  In any story, the main character starts out one way... 

My dream come true!

...and ends up different.  Their conflicts or struggles teach them something and they grow.


Now consider a basic story arc.  The first act establishes the characters and setting.  The second act will present a problem.  The third act is where the protagonist feels defeated and has given up all hope, and the conclusion is the final showdown, where the hero will triumph by using what he has learned.

If you want to be the triumphant heroine in your life, consider this:

The main character is their own worst enemy when they have preconceptions about what is to come.  

Sansa didn't understand disillusionment.  Now she does.

The character experiences a rude awakening and it helps them understand the big picture.  

This understanding leads to their triumph!

Sansa learned the hard way: ignorance is not bliss. 

Apply this to your life by becoming the author of your story.  Assume the position of the third person omniscient storyteller.  

Separate your ego- the character- from yourself- the author.  And be honest with both of yourselves.  

If you can do that, you can think about how your own preconceptions will lead you to a rude awakening, a better understanding, and eventual triumph.  

In other words:

Challenge yourself, and you'll be prepared when life challenges you.

 The right thing to do seems wrong when you don't have all the facts.

Moms Of Maine Need To Know This

click here for Robert Reich's video

In Re: the facebook group "Moms of ME" or something.  It's a group of moms swapping stories and offering advice and shit.  And sob stories, too.



Almost every Maine mom says this: 

"I work more than one job to make ends meet, plus I have to do the house and mommy stuff, and I'm so tired and scared and miserable and I have to pay for daycare so I can work too much and I didn't sign up for this and I'm unhealthy and depressed."

My response to that is this:

"Apply for social services.  Get in the system and start getting the assistance you need.  It's called mandatory spending for a reason!  It's our money to use and if we don't use it, we will lose it!"

The response to my advice is this:

"We make too much money to qualify"

"How dare you tell people to go on welfare that is just wrong!"

"the state can't afford to take care of us!"

"You may be ok with freeloading off the government but I am not!"

Did you read the words on that pic of Robert Reich up there?

You need to understand mandatory spending.  

There is enough money for all of us, but if we don't use it, we'll lose it.  And there's proof all over the internet.

Below I've listed a few links to locals who have written about this issue.  

Of course Robert Reich has been saying this kind of stuff for a while now.  In fact, he mentioned in one of his videos that the whole country should be on medicare; that it would be better for negotiating the rising health care costs.  He also has a video explaining how we've been conditioned (brainwashed) to see welfare (socialism) as a bad thing.  

click for video!

Let that sink in for a minute.  We've been brainwashed to feel bad for needing/using "benefits" (even that word is part of the brainwash) that are essentially our share of the taxpayer generated income, that we've paid into every year!  

And it's MANDATORY that they spend it on us!!!

We have rights to these funds, but we've been made to believe we don't by those who want to steal them!  Like Republicans!  Like Lepage!

Anyway, watch these videos, read those articles, and then go online and apply for EVERY SERVICE.  Even if you think you don't qualify, that doesn't matter.  If enough people apply who are over the limit they have to raise the limit!  Again, if you don't understand the big picture, you have to either trust me or google it yourself!  And I fuckin' dare ya!

I'm trying to educate you, so you feel the appropriate amount of betrayed by your Governor, Paul LePage.

Don't feel guilty or ashamed, because it's not your fault we were tricked!  It's not your fault they shipped all the jobs out.  Our government fucked us, and our economy, and that's why we're all poor!  

Trade your second job for welfare, for fucks sake, because being a Mom is your job.  If you don't believe me, ask your kids.   The next generation is more important than your pride, right?  Plus that pride isn't real, it's old brainwash.  Think about it.  

The federal government gave Maine millions of dollars for welfare, and LePage and Mayhew think it's their own personal slush fund.  

Go read the links, and these aren't all- there's more if you search.

Go online today and fill out an application for TANF, SNAP and Mainecare.  And HEAP.  And WIC.  Do it for the growing number of Mainers living in extreme poverty.  

http://portland.thephoenix.com/news/158009-its-the-money-that-matters/

http://davidfarmer.bangordailynews.com/2016/04/11/republicans/proof-is-in-the-numbers-lepage-is-failing-poor-children/?utm_campaign=Bangor+Daily+News&utm_source=opinion-widget

http://www.newslo.com/paul-lepage-hungry-kids-grow-up-to-be-better-workers-food-stamps-make-them-fat-and-lazy/

http://recoveryrocks.bangordailynews.com/2016/04/12/addiction/how-lepage-and-mayhew-are-perpetuating-the-opiate-epidemic/

http://bangordailynews.com/2016/01/22/opinion/editorials/lepage-is-contracting-out-welfare-to-work-program-for-wrong-reasons/

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/02/10/seeking-to-pressure-lawmakers-lepage-vows-to-reject-federal-riverview-funds/

http://recoveryrocks.bangordailynews.com/2016/03/22/addiction/the-social-work-millions-mary-mayhew-thinks-were-making/

http://bangordailynews.com/2016/02/02/opinion/contributors/its-time-to-focus-on-maines-economy-not-cutting-my-taxes-and-scapegoating-the-poor/

http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/ofi/public-assistance/

Confessions Of A Bad Mom

   Norah is my second daughter, and my mini-me.  She has her own blog, like me, and her own you tube channel, like me.  She goes through phases of interest, like me, and dives head first into research, like me.  

   Last night she was kind of stressed out, and told me, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I was doing research for one of my dan and phil projects and I accidentally saw porn."

To which I replied, "Okay... was it guy on guy porn?"

And she said, "No, guy and girl..."

So I was like, "Okay, well do you wanna talk about it?"
   
And she said, "No, but can you put parental controls on my computer or something?"

"Oh, sure.  So, no questions about what you saw?"

"Nope.  I know about it, I just don't need to see it."

   
So I took her computer from her and adjusted the settings.
   
"There ya go," I said, handing it back.  "But for the record I'm against censorship."

She smiled and asked, "So, can I swear in one of my videos?"


And then I explained that swear words, like any words, are a literary tool that she should learn how to use, and use well. 

"So the answer is yes, but only if it makes what you're saying more funny."

Napoleon Hill Makes A Great Point, But

Napoleon Hill told me all I need to do is complete these three steps:

1. What do you want?  (a humanist/environmentalist world)

2. What are you willing to give in order to get it? (whatever I have)

3. Get out there and start giving. (like I've been doing)

Fuck yeah.  

So what do I have to give?

-Musical/various artistic abilities  
-Wisdom (People won't ask for advice, so I just give it)
-Too many fucks, apparently.  I care about everything.  I see the big picture, and everything is part of it, so




Giving is good.  But I think we should also be asking:

What are you willing to give up?

Because we're going to have to give up plastic to save the planet.  Plastic is bad, mkay....

No Sex For Seven Days

I had to see the ob-gyn this week to get a new Mirena put in, since the old one was about to expire.

If you don't already know, Mirena is an IUD.  It's like a fake baby in your uterus, that tricks your body into thinking its already pregnant.  That's how I explained it to my kids, anyway.

My doctor had to explain the procedure of taking out the old one, cleaning and measuring the uterus, and placement of the new IUD, and all the things that could go wrong before, during and after.... like the risk of being punctured by the thing as she's putting it in!  OFFS!

"But don't worry," she said.  "Before we do any of that, I'll do a pelvic exam..."  

That's the part where they put one hand up inside you, and the other hand is outside you, so they can feel your uterus and ovaries as accurately as possible.

"... so I can gauge the true size of your uterus to minimize the risk of puncture.  And you're thin, which makes it so much easier..."

I'm thin?

you mean, I'm thin?!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH" (angels singing)

As with any new birth control, it needs time to settle in and start working.  So, no sex for seven days!  And you know what that means...

I'm making cabbage soup!  Totally gonna rock out on vegetables this week.  Seriously.  Visit at your own risk.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Imaginary Friends

I have maybe 10-15 imaginary friends.  Some are around more than others.

1. Jane Austen.  
I actually became Jane Austen while reading her works.  I adopted her manner of speech, and her English accent, in my own writing.  Quite by accident!  Reading begets imagination and fantasy, all while you are inside someone else's head!  How can you NOT be imaginary friends at that point? 

2. Sarah Silverman.  
She is always teasing me about being in love with Bill Maher.  She's all like "Bill and Lil up in a tree...."

3. Bill Maher.  
I never would've sorted out my Planet Venis idea if it hadn't been for him.  His feedback helped me make a bad idea, well,  a little less bad.  He's gotten less funny with age, but still, I like having someone smart to bounce ideas around with.  

4. The Wise Sloth.  
I got sucked into his blogosphere maybe a couple years ago, and we've been imaginary friends ever since.  He has helped me understand the military and christianity, among other things.  He even helped me with one of my videos.  

I actually asked The Wise Sloth for an interview in real life, since the imaginary one went so well.  I didn't tell him there was an imaginary interview already, though.  Which is probably why he said yes.

Bill Maher got a little jealous when I told him about it, and it was adorable.  He was all like "oh so you're all in love with the wise sloth now?"  And I was all like, "yeah except he's a sloth, lucky for you."

Avascular Necrosis and PRC

post-op

Avascular necrosis means death from lack of blood supply.  So a couple of my wrist bones somehow lost their blood supply, died and withered, which caused me pain and limited movement.  There was no event, no car accident, no fist fight, no I didn't punch a wall.  If I were angry enough to throw a punch, it would be a left hook.  And that's only happened, like, maybe twice.  

I just thought it was arthritis.  I ignored it for a long time until I couldn't take the pain anymore.  I went to the doctor because I wanted to play guitar again.

my scar today

I was surprised to find out that I needed surgery.  They removed the 3 offending bones from my wrist in a procedure called Proximal Row Carpectomy.  

weird bump

deformed thumb joint

They say it takes up to 1.5 years to recover from this, so that means November 2016.  We shall see.  I had 6 weeks of physical therapy, which amounted to massage and stretching and was excruciating.  My wrist does not bend back AT ALL.  I can't do my girly push ups anymore, for example, cuz I can't bend or bear weight on that wrist.  Or open a jar.

I haven't tried to play piano or drums yet.  I have played the guitar a little, just enough to figure out the chords to "exes and ohs" by Elle King.  I hope someday I can strap on and rock out.  (with my cock out, of course).   At the very least, I hope someday it stops hurting all the time.  Amen.