"Dear Future Husband" by Meghan Trainor: What's The Message?

You've heard it, the "all about dat bass" girl's newest song.  It sounds like the 1950's, and if girls of any age take this as gospel, those girls are going to have a shit time.  

This is what happens in my head when I hear it.

It starts, "Dear future husband,

Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be my one and only all my life"

Ok, I'm in agreement that you should be upfront, honest and clear about what you want from a partner before you meet.  That will save everyone a lot of time and heartache.  Let's keep listening.

"Take me on a date, I deserve it, babe"

Well, maybe she does.  Continue.

"And don't forget the flowers every anniversary"

Demanding flowers?  In this economy?  

"Cause if you'll treat me right, I'll be the perfect wife, Buying groceries, Buy-buying what you 

need"

Yep.  Because when you imagine your "perfect wife", the first thing you think of is "well, she's gotta be really good at buying groceries" 

"You got that 9 to 5, But, baby, so do I, So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies!  I never learned to cook..."

But what about the groceries? 

What the hell did you buy?

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy"

Ok then, when you're acting like a stupid bitch, I'll.... train you with treats!  That might just work.

"and tell me everything's alright"

You mean like a parent?  You want to be hushed and calmed like a child?

"Dear future husband, If you wanna get that special lovin'"

Translation: If you want sex...then....

"Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night"

Well, ok.....

"After every fight, Just apologize"

Just take the blame for everything...

"And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right"

...in exchange for sex. K.

"Even if I was wrong, you know I'm never wrong, Why disagree? Why, why disagree?"

People know how wrong this attitude is, right?  Are we puppets, in puppet love?

"Dear future husband, Make time for me, Don't leave me lonely, And know we'll never see your family more than mine"

Like, Your welcome?

"I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed,"

Claiming the left side, in advance, I'm sure she has her reasons.

"Open doors for me and you might get some... kisses"

Wait, no head? 

And please don't kiss me every time I hold the door for you.

"Don't have a dirty mind"

Um, have you ever met any male people, ever?

"Just be a classy guy, Buy me a ring, Buy-buy me a ring"

In this economy?!

Well, then, I guess she's not being ironic.  Ouch.

In conclusion:

This song is old-fashioned and sexist, but I guess I should assume she's trying to be ironic.... oh, wait.  

The problem is the perpetuation of these ideas about gender roles, and the sad truth that some girls are actually like this.