I Was Wrong About AI (And I'll Never Use It Again)

I'm not using AI anymore, I'm not using ChatGPT anymore, and I urge you to do the same.

I didn't understand how much damage was being done by the data centers, I didn't realize that they were stealing freshwater and overloading the power grids, nor did I understand the evil that it would be used for, especially against women and children.

I am a tech positive person but this tech is hurting people and depleting our greatest natural resource. #nomoreAI #aiisbad

I Want To Be Known As A Producer So I Can Get Work As A Producer

If I were the type to make videos where I talk to the camera, I would be making one about the Dear Liza EP I'm working on, specifically the song Stoned. 

I'm not sure how I would film myself talking about this, because I would want it to be filmed like you were standing right next to me or looking over my shoulder while I show you on the computer what I'm thinking- for example, 

after the chorus, there's some dead space... I'm thinking that chorus line could be repeated to fill that gap.

And then at the end, the pauses in the last chorus? They should be sequential and on beat, to make one long chorus that you can groove along with instead of being broke up like they are. 

Also, this song is so cheeky, I think it needs sound effects. 

How many times does it mention a train? How about some train sounds off in the distance? 

Tidal wave? We should hear it! 

Stoned?! We need bong hits in the background! And a party, and coughing and laughter!

Also the high harmony is missing in the chorus, I would like to add it.

If you follow me on insta, you just heard this song because I just posted it, twice actually, so you might know exactly what I'm talking about, and you may even disagree because you love it the way it is so much haha just kidding theres no way- 

So this is me being a producer, and I should be making videos about this, because I want to be known as a producer. I should film myself producing so you all know about my skills and maybe want to hire me to record you, or to produce tracks you already have, like I'm doing with Dear Liza right now. I just cant figure out how to capture this on camera by myself holding the phone. I mean it doesn't even make sense to show myself on camera, maybe I could just show my screen and talk... I could be on screen if I had a camera man- oh maybe just a tripod. I should look into that because I really should be putting my face on camera so you can get to know me! 

Ok, go follow me on insta, lilmcgillmusic. I will follow you back.

The Sitcom That Is My Life

For years, I've been living in a sitcom. Two single mothers and their kids live together in the suburbs, with episodes of blended family friendly fun and shenanigans, and sometimes drunken adult shenanigans when the kids visit their dads. Good show. 

Then suddenly,

my ex husband tells me, oops he sold his house and doesn't have anything lined up, guess he'll have to move in with us while he looks for a new place... and the market is bad... so he's gonna take his time finding the right place... New show! 

We've officially gone from Valerie to The Hogan Family. Yeah I'm a little sad, but. These shows can't last forever.

I shouldn't complain. He's the bumbling sitcom Dad that fixes things around the house and makes omelettes at the crack of dawn. Always making jokes, always trying to help. Likes grocery shopping. Will watch soccer with my Mom. In many ways life will improve. My house will improve, at the very least.

Now the sitcom is sitcom-ing, and the shenanigans are shenanigan-ing even more as my kids are here full time and my ex husband is suddenly a roommate, with pets, that I have to consider, work around and compromise with. And introduce to all my friends. And wait for and clean up after and pay attention to... it's fine. What's one more person, a dog, and a cat and kids full time? 

Stay tuned for more blended family fun and adventure. I'll surely be venting about it!

Lil McGill Esta Aprendiendo Espanol (Y No Puede Encontrar Un Enye)

 Como cambio mi keyboard de ingles a espanol? Bueno, econtre un keyboard universal pero como lo uso? Uso mi portatil ahorrita... seria mas facil en mi celular (sigh... como se dice sigh en espanol?)

Anyway, mi espanol es horrible pero quiero aprender. Necesito practicar. Por favor, digame en espanol y dame una prueba, un examenito jaja me gustaria mucho...

Es que, mi cerebro sabe muchas palabras, pero yo no. No puedo hablar con mi boca. En vida real, necesito tanto tiempo para encontrar las palabras, jaja. Y por supuesto, hay muchas frases que todavia no aprendi. Tambien, no entiendo nada cuando me hablas! Tienes que hablar lentamente, lo siento. 

Hago Duolingo cada manana -dammit where's the enye- cada dia, y tambien miro el How To Spanish podcast cada dia y escucho musica en espanol... y otros, hay muchos videos para aprender espanol- ugh basta! no puedo sin enye es equivocado y grosero

el punto es, estoy ensenando yo mismo y quiero practicar espanol con hablanativos cuando posible, quiero ser fluida algun dia.  Muchas gracias, amigos <3

ok hasta luego

The Internet's Big Sister

 I should be a therapist or social worker for real. With ~12 years of therapy under my belt, I learned so much I feel like I should get an honorary degree! 

And for those people who won't go to therapy or who can't afford to make it happen, well... who can they turn to? They need a big sister to steer them right. Maybe me?

Idk I'm just a natural helper. How do I go about putting that out there? Like, hey if anyone needs a big sister, make an appointment. 

I could call myself a mediator. If you need to settle an argument, call me.

I could call myself a life coach. If you just don't know what to do in any given situation, call me.

Like whenever I go on the dating apps, I end up being every guy's therapist. And they are desperate for someone to listen to them and help them. 

I have grandiose daydreams about having my own talk show- well nowadays it would be a podcast- for those guys, I guess, where I could help people deal with their personal shit while also somehow affecting some sort of shift in social culture, especially the toxic male colonizer culture that so many of my friends have internalized and need to be "big sistered" out of. Maybe people could call/text/email me questions anonymously and I could read them out loud and we, the studio audience/guests/the chat and I, could discuss solutions and come to some sort of cultural conclusions. 

The point is, I am somebody's therapist in real life every day. Why can't this be my job?

How do you want to be helped? If you want anonymous advice or whatever, HOW? Just tell me how. 

Some people prefer to get therapy under the guise of a tarot reading or astrology, which is fine, some people need that to be the catalyst for their therapy. Others hate that and need a different approach. 

Like an advice column/advice podcast/advice channel, we could call it Not All Men? or The Internet's Big Sister, or something that wouldn't scare guys away or make them think its just for women. IDK I'm just spitballin now.

Would the guys from the dating apps even be open to calling an advice podcast?

covers

 I took a course called "How To Make $ With Your Music". At the time, I didn't even have a product to sell. So I organized all my singles into albums. Then I called a bunch of studios to discuss recording time and all that... which is way too expensive so instead, I bought a macbook pro, and Logic pro, and took a bunch of courses on how to use it and released three albums. 

Then I took a course called "How To Market Your Music" and it told me to build an email list.

So I took a course called "How To Build Your Email List" and it told me to record some cover songs to give away as a free download in exchange for people's emails, and THEN buy facebook ads to drive traffic to my website to collect emails, and then market my music and merch to the people on my email list.

So I guess I need to focus on putting together an album of cover songs to give away for free on my website, in exchange for emails.

Dead and Dying

 My third album is called Dead and Dying. This is a collection of songs that I wrote about another tumultuous relationship. Again, I am looking at this whole situation with disgust, through adult eyes, with years of therapy under my belt... 

If I knew then what I know now, this relationship would never have happened! I ignored every red flag right from the start! Let me explain:

1. Live Like This

I wrote this because he didn't want anything serious and I was trying to be the cool girl about it.

2. Writer's Block

I wrote this about how I should stop seeing him since I found out he has a girlfriend... and I did. But started again after a couple months. Eventually he moved in.

3. Dead and Dying

I wrote this about living with a liar, who thinks you are also a liar.

4. Broke

I wrote this after we broke up but were still sleeping together ??? I was a mess. And then I got pregnant. And he moved back in.

5. Don't Let The Rain Out

I wrote this when I found out he was cheating on me, while I was pregnant, of course he was. He moved in with her when I was 8 months along.

6. Come Back

Sigh. I have to forgive myself for being like that. But I cringe.

7. Bitch Tax

I wrote this many years later. We should have been in a much better place but for some reason, he kept us in the past, and had so much hate and distrust for me, and acted outright disrespectful to me. As if he misremembered our entire history.

If you can relate to any of my songs, you are probably in an abusive relationship. Instead of writing songs about these jerks, I should have just left them! I had no self respect. I was co dependent.  Please don't stay with people who are hurting you. Love shouldn't be a struggle.